my burning man journey

A story full of perseverance & new lessons

Por Wander with Jill

26 de September de 2018

Its been exactly 3 weeks since Ive departed from Black Rock City giving me enough time to process my thoughts and feelings while I was out there in the desert. Each year, over 70,000 people gather in Black Rock Desert for Burning Man. It is a temporary city dedicated to community, art, self-expression, and self-reliance. This was my 4th year attending Burning Man and probably the toughest one of them all for me. My journey of getting to Nevada started by doing a cross country road trip pulling a trailer I had purchased early this summer. I made the choice to buy a 29 foot trailer I found on craigslist for a very good price instead of renting an RV; with hopes that it would be a smart investment since burning man has become a yearly tradition for me. Renting an RV can get quite expensive, plus cleaning it out after is another factor you have to think about when doing so by buying one I would essentially save money over the years.

We had been on the road 2 and a half days already. My best friend and I had been switching shifts driving but it was taking a toll on us both. We were both pretty exhausted and delirious after 36 hours so I decided to pull over at a rest area somewhere in the middle of Nebraska so we could both properly get some rest. After a few hours of sleep I decided to get back on the road early that morning and continued on until my best friend woke up and was ready to drive again.

There were a lot of cars and trucks on the I-80 that morning. It was sunny and beautiful out and never would I have expected what would happen just a few hours later. Although I wasn't driving anymore, I am usually very alert to all thats going on around me and I could sense that there was a lot going on around us. My best friend had been cursing about an aggressive truck driver behind us on our tail trying to pass us. We were in the left lane of the highway and when we finally got enough space to switch lanes to the right side we did. Upon doing so the tail wind from that fast truck passing caused the trailer to start swaying from side to side. At this moment everything happened in slow motion like a movie. As the trailer started to lose control I just remember all of us in the car just being so calm. When I look back and think about it now its like I felt some universal force holding the truck like a bubble as the trailer swayed. Then another truck passed us and after more tail wind hit us we lost all control and ended up doing a 180 into the right side off the highway. This caused the trailer to miraculously unhitch and flip over. We ended up in high brush along the highway which could have been another miraculous factor in why our truck didn't flip over. As soon as the car was still we all got out and we just looked at each other in disbelief about what just occurred. Somehow the truck was fine without any damage to it or us at all but the trailer was fully flipped on its side. A few people had pulled over to see if we were ok, they gave us hugs because they had all witnessed what happened and said we were lucky.

Lucky is an understatement, and as I looked at the damage I had realized that the trailer was a complete loss and my investment had completely gone down the drain being that I had no insurance. But I was full of gratitude to still be alive and unharmed. I cried and hugged all my friends as we waited for the highway patrol to come.

Anyone who knows me very well knows I am a very spiritual person. In the past few years I feel like Ive nearly just avoided death by chance, this being the third time. I really can't explain it but I feel as if I have angels looking over me because I have some higher purpose in the world to fulfill and they won't let me go until my mission is completed. I have always felt blessed and full of gratitude for the life I live especially more after this accident. I could care less about the material loss because my life is worth so much more. I am thankful to be alive and telling this story.

After the highway patrol and tow truck came they said we could leave to rest and give us time to figure out what we would be doing to move forward. The trailer and everything in it would be towed and held in storage for the night. We spent the night in North Platte, Nebraska where I had to devise a new plan on where to stay for burning man. I wasn't going to let this setback stop us from getting to our destination. Ive always been an optimist and persistent and after making a few phone calls a new plan was set in motion and I knew everything would work out.

We were able to catch a beautiful sunset by the river. It was very calming to me after the scary morning we had. Even after everything we all seemed to be feeling very positive.

Catching the beautiful sunset in Nebraska

We woke up early the next day to get back on the road and continue the journey to Reno. We were still about a day away but we had gotten a full nights rest which was something we needed. My new plan had consisted of renting a Uhaul to store everything that was in the trailer and continue forward. We were also super lucky that one of my dearest friends had rented an RV and had enough room to let us stay in her RV during burning man. Like I said everything just seemed to work out.

We Finally arrived in Reno Early Tuesday afternoon and made a stop in Walmart and my storage. We also had to meet up with my friend who was letting us stay in her RV so we could follow each other in. After a few hours we finally set out on the road to Black Rock City which was another 2 and a half hours away. We finally made it through the gates around 1030 pm and we drove to 2&D where my camp was located. I decided to sleep the night so I could be fresh in the morning to explore the playa.

One of my favorite reasons to go to burning man is to see all the fascinating art that is displayed everywhere. Ive seen some mind blowing stuff year after year so I usually spend my mornings or afternoons cruising around to see what I find.

Some of my favorite art pieces are shown below..

Trace by Kate Greenburg

Inspired by the interconnectivity and ephemerality of the playa, Trace is an installation of colored rope that weaves into a mirage-esque form above the dust. This art piece reflects on the way Black Rock City teases our perception of reality as we generate and explore it together, like a shared dream. It celebrates how individual journeys cross paths in the dust, yet altogether intertwine to shape an evanescent landscape and its broader community.

For George & his beloved dog Dot

This art piece was done in memorial of a Burner who passed away recently. His dream was to build a sculpture of his beloved dog Dot to share with the playa. His campmates lovingly fulfilled his dream this year with this furry, lovable piece. People were invited to leave notes on the art piece and to vocally interact with it.

We are the ones we have been waiting for by Scott Froschauer

I ran into these signs in the middle of deep playa. I was having a rough morning that day so finding these signs really inspired me to change my outlook and remind myself that I am capable of anything I put my mind to.

Singularity by Rebekah Waites

What is Singularity? Singularity is an interactive art piece that combines physics and psychology. It explores how traumatic events can create mental cages. Using symbolism of the birdcage and house, this piece creates a space for participants to explore and interact. Much like the infamous Russian dolls, the entirety of this piece will include multiple layers of various sized bird cages and houses. Each layer represents a memory of a memory. The details tell a story that changes as the piece breaks down in size. How far down the rabbit hole can we go?

In the house there seemed to be a lot of written notes on the wall to peoples Dads so once again this really resonated with me.

Come-Million by Amit Weissenstern

Come-Million is a giant colorful chameleon that shines up beautifully when playing interactively with her friends! Come-Million’s skin is made of hundreds of tiles carrying thousands little lights. Their colors change in reaction to the participants’ behavior inside, sensed through its pumping heart. A playful collaboration is demonstrated through the interaction between the people inside the chameleon, and passerby.

More art in the Daytime

MORE ART at Night

What if this is all real? by Olivia Steele

Galaxia Temple

The temple is always a place I try to visit on the weekend because its one of the more heavy/sad places to visit. This year I wrote a letter of things I need to let go of and also wrote something for my dad who has been gone for a few years now.

The Man Burn

I spent most of Saturday partying at Kazbah for the Martinez Brothers party which was my probably my favorite party of the week. I left around 5pm to head back to camp to prepare myself for the man burn. I chose to spend my burn with the 5 people I had chosen to stay with for the burn. By the end of the week we had turned from friends to almost family. I am thankful to have shared my experience full of boths ups and downs with them. They each supported me when I needed it and we all had some really great fun moments together.

My camp - MIki Beach

It was my 2nd year camping with Miki Mau aka Miki Beach. I truly loved the vibes here at my camp. There was a definite improvement overall of our camp structure and our events and I look forward to joining them again next year.

you never get the burn you want, you always get the Burn you need

My overall feelings for my Burning Man Experience is one full of highs and lows but the messages that were presented to me all seemed to fit and were exactly what I needed to be reminded of. Even though this may have been the toughest, None of my burning man experiences have been easy. They are always full of challenges that I need to work through.

All the Love you need is already inside of you

The greatest lesson that I learned this year was that I need to love myself more and stop being so hard on myself. I need to take some time to be kind to myself and give myself credit for being strong willed, determined, positive and persistent. Its during times of chaos that I understand what I am really made of even. Most people will always wonder how I am able to do it. But As long as I keep going, the light inside of me will never diminish as long as I believe it. As long as I stop seeking love and validation of being someone worthy of love, I can finally start to have a healthy relationship with myself and others. As I continue to work on myself, I look forward to applying the lessons I learned from my experience. Like I said earlier I am truly thankful to even be able to share my story.